Inside the Box 10/31/08

Oct 31st, 2008 by Kim

Old-School Non-Denominational Happy Hour!

Since United has missed the playoffs for the first time since the Hudson Era, NW DC Regiment Capt. Ed Kubal figured it was a good time to revive one of the few good things about those dark days (Ray’s press conferences and sideline interviews were also pretty sweet): the non-denominational off-season D.C. United Supporter happy hour!

Ed issues the following invitation:

Aw yeah, y’all! That’s right! It’s on! It’s on like Red Dawn! It’s on like Charles Bron-son! It’s on like Donkey Kong!

Thursday, November 6, 2008, at Duffy’s Irish Pub (2106 Vermont Ave., NW; basically across the street from the 9:30 Club, and only a block from the east entrance to the U St./Cardozo Metro station), starting at 4PM, or whenever you can get there from your soul-sucking office.

Still not convinced? Well, check these specials out, fools! (Specials normally run from 4PM until 7PM, but Duffy’s has kindly extended them until 8PM for us.)

All domestic cans $2 (reg. $3): Natty Boh (Boh knows beer), Schlitz (the beer that made Milwaukee famous), Schaefer (the beer to have when you’re having more than one), Miller High Life (the Champagne of Beers), PBR (not just for hipsters anymore), Miller Lite (less filling…did I mention it’s less filling? Yeah, that’s about it…), Bud (the great Belgian lager), Bud Light (it’s, uh, cold), Natty Light (it’s, uh, not Bud Light)

Import cans $4 (reg. $5): Corona (¡la cerveza mas fina!), Heineken (won’t skunk in cans!), Amstel Light (95 calories never tasted so imported!)

Here’s where it gets really good: All drafts half price (reg. $6): Guinness (for strength!) $3, Yuengling (America’s oldest brewery!) $3, Smithwick’s (the “w” is silent, like Bush during a crisis) $3, Hoegaarden (false advertising, man…there are definitely no hoes in the garden) $3, Stella (yo! StellAAAAAA!!!) $3, Bud Light (still cold) $2. Side note: Anyone who drinks a $2 Bud Light when there’s Guinness (and all those other beers) for $3 is a damn fool. Srsly. Don’t do it. For the love of Beer, don’t do it. Also, anyone who buys a can of Corona for $4 when you can get any of the above-listed drafts for $3…well, yeah…

Duffy’s 20oz Rum Punch $5 (reg $10): “a secret delicious blend of rums and fresh juices in a tall 20oz glass garnished with a lime.”

Food specials: Buffalo Wings $5.95, 1/2 lb Duffy Burger w/ Fries $7.95, Veggie Burger w/ Fries $7.95, Shepherd’s Pie $8.95, Fish & Chips $8.95, Shrimp Boat $7.95.

These happy hours used to be an off-season staple, and they were a great way to shoot the shiznit about all things soccer-related. I don’t give a rat’s ass what supporters group, if any, you belong to, or what section your seats are in, or if you just watch an occasional game from the comfort of your couch. It don’t make no nevermind. All you have to do is show up, drink beer, and talk about soccer…or whatever the hell else you feel like talking about.